Poor Husband

It's really tough for my husband to live with Mother and Evil Shorty.  According to Mother, Kevin is a jerk.  He's not really a jerk.  He's an honest guy, and we're happily married most of the time.  My father used to say before he died that it didn't matter who I married.  Father said that even if I married the president, Mother would argue he didn't win by enough votes. 

Living with Mother and Evil Shorty is difficult because of the daily stressors.  Mother constantly looks for things about my husband to get angry about.  For example, "He looked at my funny today," or "He didn't offer to help me carry up the groceries."  Evil Shorty is a different kind irritation.  Since she doesn't wear her hearing aid, it's impossible to talk with her.  She constantly asks questions, but can't hear the answers.  I just point to my ears and shrug my shoulders when Shorty asks me questions without her hearing aids on.  Then Evil Shorty says, "okay, okay, I'll put my hearing aids on."  Mother, on the other hand, is always yelling at Shorty.  I tell Mother not to talk with Shorty unless she has her hearing aids on, but Mother doesn't listen.  Even at this very moment Mother is yelling at Shorty because she doesn't have her hearing aids on.  My husband just looked at me and shook his head. 

Every night as my husband and I are going to sleep, Evil Shorty slithers into the kitchen and opens the refrigerator door.  After three minutes or so, the alarm starts going off.  "Beep. Beep. Beep."  It's really annoying.  Shorty eats like a horse.  She makes herself sandwiches every night about three hours after dinner.  She doesn't turn the kitchen light on.  Instead, she leaves the door to the refrigerator open.  Mother yells at her all the time about this behavior, but of course if you ask Shorty to not do something, she goes out of her way to do it all the time.  

Every couple days, Shorty leaves the water running in one of the bathrooms or the kitchen.  I hear water running and I go into the kitchen or walk into the bathroom and the water is running, but there is no one is sight.  Evil Shorty has struck again.  Yes, I have outrageous utility bills, and I expect some environmental group to show up at my house one day.  But what can I do?  If I ask Shorty to stop leaving the water running or close the refrigerator door, she'll just do it all the more.  Irritating people gives Shorty some sense of control and fulfils her evil monster.  

My husband is a pretty good guy to tolerate all this abuse.  I think any other man would have left me two years ago right after Mother and Evil Shorty moved in.